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Deadevil Frog
More lyrics just stuck on going through this with music. Thank Goddess music is there for me.

She Loves Me Not Lyrics

When I see her eyes
Look into my eyes
Then I realize that
She could see inside my head
So I close my eyes
Thinking that I could hide
Disassociate so I don't have to lose my head
This situation leads to agitation
Will she cut me off?
Will this be an amputation?

I don't know,
If I care
I'm the jerk,
Life's not fair
Fighting all the time
This is out of line
She loves me not, loves me not
Do you realize, I won't compromise
She loves me not, loves me not

Over the past five years
I have shed my tears
I have drank my beers and watched my fears fly away
And untill this day
She still swings my way
But it's sad to say sometimes
She says she loves me not
But I hesitate
To tell her I hate
This relationship
I want out today
This is over

I don't know
If I care
I'm the jerk
Life's not fair
Fighting all the time
This is out of line
She loves me not, loves me not
Do you realize I won't compromise
She loves me not
Life's not fair
I'm the jerk

Line for line, rhyme for rhyme
Sometimes we'll be fighting all the goddam time
It’s makin’ me sick
Relationship is gettin’ ill
Piss drunk stupid
Mad
On the real, could you feel
What I feel, what’s the deal girl
Tearin’ up each others world
We should be in harmony
Boy and girl
That is a promise we made
Back in the day
We told each other things wouldn’t be this way
I think we should work this out
It's alright baby, we can scream and shout.

I don't know
If I care
I'm the jerk
Life's not fair
Fighting all the time
This is out of line
She loves me not, loves me not
Do you realize I won't compromise
She loves me not, loves me not
Life’s not fair
Life’s not fair
Life’s not fair
I’m the jerk
Life’s not fair
She loves me not
Loves me not
 
 
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Tunez: Papa Roach
 
 
 
Deadevil Frog
20 March 2007 @ 06:16 am
Lyrics that let you let go of things eating at you...



Decompression Period lyrics


Here today gone today
Hurry up and wait
I'm never there for you or me
Can't you read the story of our lives
Death to me and life for you
Something isn't right
And I need some space to
Clear my head to think about
My life

And I can't be alone

I just need some space
To clear my head to think about my life
With or without you

We fight it out
We work it out
Give me some time to unwind

I must confess
I'm falling apart
Breaking your heart
Crying with you on the phone
We're walking on thin ice
I hope it doesn't break

Mile by mile we're farther apart
And it's one empty bottle
And two broken hearts
Night after night we are falling apart
Now it's two broken bottles
And four empty hearts

Decompression
Depression period
 
 
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Tunez: Papa Roach
 
 
 
Deadevil Frog
19 March 2007 @ 05:38 pm
Isn't amazing, when an entire album fits what your life is experiencing? Paramour Sessions by Papa Roach is me right now. (I just wanna be wanna be loved! hehe)

This fits all the crap I have been through the past 3 years...

   
The World Around You Lyrics

Woaho
Woaho
Yea
Yea
Woaho
Woaho
Yea
Yea

You say I’m looking really bad
You say I’m looking really sick
And I don’t even care I never really did
So when push comes to shove
And I slap you in the face
Just remember one thing

When its time to feel the void
My whole life has been destroyed
And everyone around me says my time is running out
I refuse to surrender
I refuse to surrender

So I’m out of control
And I’m out of my mind
Just remember one thing
I think I’m just fine
So catch me when I fall
I won’t remember anything at all
So catch me when I fall

When its time to feel the void
My whole life has been destroyed
And everyone around me says my time is running out
I refuse to surrender
I refuse to surrender

Woaho
Woaho
Yea
Yea
Woaho
Woaho
Yea
Yea

When its time to feel the void
My whole life has been destroyed
And everyone around me says my time is running out
When its time to feel the void
My whole life has been destroyed
And everyone around me says my time is running out
I refuse to surrender
I refuse to surrender
I refuse to surrender
I refuse to surrender
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Tunez: Papa Roach
 
 
 
Deadevil Frog
19 March 2007 @ 02:04 pm
OK. This Papa Roach song also fits in many ways. Everything really except the part about all the women. Cuz, I don't cheat. I have too much of a sense of honor to do that.

Here is a video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeDmjH5vMto

And the lyrics

In the brightest hour
Of my darkest day
I realized
What is wrong with me

Can't get over you
Can't get through to you
It's been a helter-skelter, romance from the start

Take these memories
That are haunting me
Of a paper man cut into shreds
By his own pair of scissors
He'll never forgive her...
He'll never forgive her...

[CHORUS]
Because days! Come and go!
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

Sitting by the fire
On a lonely night
Hanging over from another good time
With another girl...
Little dirty girl
You should listen to this story of a life

You're my heroin-
In this moment I'm lonely
fullfilling my darkest dreams
All these drugs, all these women
I'm never forgiving...
this broken heart of mine

[CHORUS]
Because days! Come and go!
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

[CHORUS]
One last kiss...
Before I go...
Dry your tears...
It is time to let you go...

[CHORUS]
One last kiss(One last kiss)
Before I go(Before I go)
Dry your tears(Dry your tears)
It is time to let you go...

[CHORUS]
Because days! Come and go!
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

[CHORUS]
One last kiss(One last kiss)
Before I go(Before I go)
Dry your tears(Dry your tears)
It is time to let you go...

[CHORUS]
One last kiss...
Before I go...
Dry your tears...
It is time to let you go...

One Last Kiss.
 
 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Tunez: Papa Roach Forever
 
 
 
Deadevil Frog
19 March 2007 @ 01:43 pm
A Golden Dawn friend of mine and I spoke briefly. He told me that based on my horoscope he feels I am set back by pisces moon and set ahead with the Leo Sun and Virgo asc. Here is what he wrote:

Hi Bert,
Ykes! Sorry to hear you're going through a rough spot, but I don't think advice from a divination is what you need most at this moment. I know 'chin up' advice seems like the last thing you need at this moment, but that's exactly what I'm going to offer. Pisces moon is what's 'feeling' what's ripped appart, but it doesn't stand a chance against Sun in Leo and your Virgo is going to eventually, probably sooner than you think know how to put you neatly back together.
That's as wise as I can be at the moment.
Good luck and "chin up!"
My best,
 
 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Tunez: Papa Roach
 
 
 
Deadevil Frog
19 March 2007 @ 01:34 pm
Going through this whole break up sucks. But I have good friends. I had a very interesting talk with one yesterday over IM. I hacked out the friend's name but otherwise the interesting part is all here.

 
 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Tunez: Papa Roach
 
 
 
Deadevil Frog
19 March 2007 @ 01:22 pm
This song fits me so well right now. It is doubled edged because I am both the protagonist who cares too much and the messed up loser who needs to fix himself. Fix yourself! That is what the Goddess wants for me. I realize now and have really for sometime that I have needed help. I needed a lot of help going through all the surgical stuff and all that and I did not get much help. My relationship had a lot of wonderful elements but it had tons of bad ones too. I am not here to blame anyone but she did not invest much of herself emotionally that I could ever tell. It was all what can I get and when I was disabled and no longer capable of giving much it all started to roll apart. I know she has serious self esteem issues and I fear she is bipolar as well. But she left and it is all up to her for her. And all up to me for me. And my Leo strength is coming back slowly. I mean crying oneself to sleep each night and waking up that way wears on you and you just get too burned out to do it much anymore. So I don't know if I am starting to improve or I am just burned but once I start counseling I know that will help me figure things out.

OK. The song. Here is the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_nGObVkLsE

Scars by Papa Roach

tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]
 
 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Tunez: Papa Roach Scars
 
 
 
Deadevil Frog
15 March 2007 @ 11:58 pm
I had a good day today. I had to do some very unfun stuff but the results so far have been good. Enough has been slow cooking in my mind that I have gotten to the point that I realize my dead relationship is a dead relationship. I did everything I could to put my heart, soul, and feelings into wanting to fix things. But this person has got serious issues and I can't help her. I have to focus on me. I finally feel good about taking care of me. My friends, my family, my livejournal friends and other web site friends have all been way supportive and giving me the foundation to know that sometimes people get self destructive and want to take you down too. And I have been fighting so hard to live though all my illness BS and how hard life has been going through that, that I am not going to just roll over and die.

I finally feel good about knowing I did my best and knowing I made every opportunity available to her to get things the help they need so it could be resolved. And it is not going to happen. The pain has changed. It isn't self directed. Its not even pain in the normal sense. It is just a sense of loss. I have my friends telling me I am a smart, talented, and attractive guy. When the time is right someone else will be there for me to share myself with. And right now I am ok with just accepting things as is, and knowing I did my best.

So I took down my blogs on all of this. I have it saved and I am writing a lot. So I may be able to get this into a fiction novellete or who knows. But it is time to move on without pain and so I don't need to see those posts up here.

Peace and thanks to you all for all your support! God Bless you!
 
 
Current Tunez: Siouxsie and the Banshees Arabian Nights
 
 
 
Deadevil Frog
Greenland melting

Well its been quite apparent to scientists for a significant amount of time that we are really facing major Global warming as a result of how we use fuels, and generate toxins that are causing a build up gases that are holding in heat. We are really hosing up our planet in a big way. Its not bogus.

Here is an excellent article about the state of affairs with our global warming problem and I really do recommend you read it. If you need to vent or discuss feel free to make comments here. Or if you want to chat me on it I use AIM: deadevilfrog, Yahoo: deadevilfrog, and MSN: Bert.Bolin@gmail.com, and ICQ: 269491306 so feel free to chat me.

The article: Science Panel Says Global Warming Is ‘Unequivocal’
 
 
 
Deadevil Frog
01 February 2007 @ 04:03 am
Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."
Tags: ,
 
 
Current Location: Close to bed
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Tunez: Reading SoulForge - Margaret Weis